More on Friend Trouble

Now I’m really, really confused.

The friend who didn’t invite me to her wedding has sent me a Christmas gift. There are some cosmetic items, a gift card for a store I like, and a picture of her wedding. The Christmas card has affectionate, hand-written words on it.

I don’t have a clue what’s going on.

I assumed we weren’t close anymore. If she didn’t consider me a close enough friend to invite to her wedding, why does she consider me a close enough friend to send gifts to?

I assumed I was trying to hang on while she was trying to let go, so I let go. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself. I have done that too many times in my life.

I didn’t send her anything. Now it’s too late for something to get there by Christmas.

I at least have to contact her to thank her for the gift. This is going to be so awkward. It would have been so easy to just not get in touch with her again. Now I have to. I’ve never not thanked someone for a gift.

Should I be honest with her and tell her how confused I am? She apparently doesn’t even realize there’s an issue. It’ll just seem like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I really, really don’t want to have to do that.

What would a socially savvy person do in a situation like this?


5 thoughts on “More on Friend Trouble

  1. I’m not socially savvy, so take this for what it’s worth… I’d just send her my thanks with maybe a few words like ‘the gift I got you is on the way, It really brightened my day to hear from you. Been missing you lately.’ or maybe ‘been thinking of you lately’ and then add anything you’re comfortable telling her about how you’ve been feeling shut out lately…. Or not. It might be better to leave that out. She probably realizes she’s neglected you and feels bad about it.


  2. I wonder if she thought you’d find the wedding stressful and decided to make the decision for you about your sensory needs (friends never seem to realise it’s nicer to be invited or at least to be told that’s what they’re doing). I like what sofania suggested


    1. Hmmm, I never thought of that. That’s certainly a possibility. It’s also possible she thought I wouldn’t have been able to afford to make the trip, as we no longer live in the same province, and I’m not working. But I would have liked to have been the one to decide that. At least then I wouldn’t be left wondering what’s going on and where I stand with her. Not that I’m upset with her or anything. Just confused.


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